Less than fried rice

What do you picture when I say fried rice?

A white bowl filled with steaming brown grain peppered with green peas, orange carrots, ginger shoots, onions, and flaky yellow egg bits? Yea, me too. The aroma is sweet and thick, and fills your nostrils to awaken hunger within. This is what I expected to be placed before me when I went out for Chinese food last Saturday. But I am in Memphis. So things went horribly wrong.

On my bamboo placemat sat a bowl of fried rice... 

Like, just the rice. One brown lump of grain. Never have I ordered fried rice and received just a plate of rice that had been fried.

The name is misleading, I will give them that. Technically, I did get fried rice...in it's most literal sense, but I thought it was a universal fact that fried rice implies a slew of other ingredients. Not to mention, the picture on their menu was alive with vibrant greens oranges.

When I asked the waitress to ask the kitchen if they had, um, forgotten a few ingredients, she pointed to my plate at the one fleck of orange carrot that had somehow by accident made it's way into my dish and said, "no, there's some carrot and onion in there."

... you're kidding. This is wrong in so many ways. Someone should check the dictionary, because even Merriam-Webster got it right.