The Boas

I'm listening to Mariah Carey because she's amazing, stopped at a red light near my apartment building, waiting for the pedestrians to cross the street. I look over to the pedestrians to check them out. They look pretty normal–slightly pudgy, the hint of a botched sleeve tattoo, t-shirt, shorts, oh, and a couple snakes around their necks.

I'm pretty sure they were pythons–big, fat, curling serpent scarves. I can't believe my eyes. They are REAL. But the most disturbing part is not the snakes themselves; it's where they are going. These two people were crossing the street to the PARK! What, guys? Did they need to go for a walk?! 

My jaw drops. There is no hiding my horror at these chosen accessories. An involuntary, "AHHH-EWW-UGH-GROSS!" may or may not have escaped from my face until I begin hysterically laughing away my terror. I look over to the car next to me–a rusting steel bucket driven by a guy in a red t-shirt and safari hat. He is also hysterically laughing. At me. 

Classic Memphis.*

*Memphis is weird. If you want more proof, read this article.

Kiersten UteggComment